Larry my father was charismatic playboy type that tried to be the best father to me.

He died of COPD complications.

My uncle Tommy was one of my favorite uncles that always made me laugh.

He OD in our family home.

My grandmother Grace was strict, funny and I was her favorite grandchild that she always shared snacks with.

She went from having a stomach virus to being in cardiac arrest, which led to her death.

Jamel, my brother’s annoying lover that I was secretly fond of. We would gossip and eat cookies together.

He died of HIV complications

My brother, my twin in a sense. He was the girly girl and I was the tomboy. He was go- to for advice(even though it was crazy), gossip, fashion tips and the one that knew all the words to a Mary J. Blige song.

He died of a broken heart and HIV complications.

My grumpy mean spirited aunt who had almost an equally slick mouth as me just recently died.

I remember them

The good

the bad

the laughs

the smiles

I will always remember them

Music Monday: New Songs that I’m feeling

Sorry I haven’t been blogging my life has been busy but I’m back now. Here a few new songs that I’m feeling.

Love on the Brain by Rihanna (It’s not a classic rihanna song which is surprising)

Let me Love you by Dj Snake and Justin Bieber(heart eyes)

stay by Zedd and Alessia Cara(one of my favorite new artist)


What are some “new” songs that you like right now?

Music Monday: Spring Break Playlist

Sorry for the mini hiatus last week, school overwhelmed and distracted me. Now its Spring Break so I can post more frequently. Here is my playlist for the occasion

  1. After the party Koffee Brown
  2. Formation Beyoncé
  3. Get me Bodied Beyoncé
  4. Swagger Like Us various artists
  5. Hard Rihanna
  6. No Church in The Wild Jayz and Kanye West
  7. No Hands Wacka Flocka
  8. Video Phone Remix Beyoncé feat Lady Gaga
  9. No Time Lil Kim
  10. Just Dance Lady Gaga
  11. 24K Magic

What are your Spring Break songs that make you feel good? Is it any of the ones I mentioned?

Music Monday: Bruno Mars

I love this little man and his voice ever since he came on the scene. A lot of people was hesitant about his latest album but I love it. He put his foot and some flavor in 24k magic album. Here’s a list of all my favorite Bruno Mars songs (some you may and some you may not)

Talking to the Moon

Just the way you are

Versace on the Floor


That’s what I like

Marry You

Our first Time

It will Rain

All she knows

24k magic

Calling all my lovelies


Inner thoughts 3/22/17

I came from a recovering alcoholic mother that grew up in a house of addicts and a father that only had time to make babies then actually be a father to. Therefore, something like hugs are a big deal to me.

As a grown adult I have started hugging my mother and it feels weird. No comfort, it feels like a pity hug especially when she pats me on the back. Which makes feel like a cat or dog that is getting petted.

My ex-boyfriend squeezed me when hugging me but it felt warm and safe.

I have one friend that gives me the best warm, lightly squeezing hug that you can tell she misses me. It’s wonderful and gives me butterflies

I just wonder will I ever be comfortable about hugs or is it just some people that will ruin it for me?


Music Monday: Somo

I came across Somo on a random playlist from Apple. After hearing one song from him, I was instantly hooked. This man totally gets R&B and doesn’t waver from the genre like most artists do. My favorites songs are:

We can make love



Make up sex


He has like two albums that you will like if you like R&b.

Inner Thoughts 3/17/17

It’s the only the second week(well ending of it)of school and I’m already want a vacation. I’m mentally exhausting and let me tell y’all why.

I got to make up hours for my internship which is practically impossible because I’m so busy.

I’m suppose to be graduating this year which I didn’t know till last week

So now I’m in a tunnel of emotions and I just want to either clone myself into someone a smarter and more focus person

or hide in my room till whenever

basically the Resilient warrior is feeling like a discourage weakling

I have to re-group this week and get ready to conquer



and other classes.

Stress bothers me but failing devastates me.