Honesty

I’m transparent

Blunt

Where others lack

In this age of likes

I’m invisible

I don’t sip flat tummy tea

I don’t post a picture of me just wearing sneakers

I’m not comedian funny

I’m just situational funny

I share my thoughts and feelings

And not makeup tips and recipes

I respect people hustle tho

Write and make money with stuff you love

But does anyone like honesty

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Inner Thoughts 6/4/18

I’m the only tree in the forest standing

Slightly burnt from all the chaos and the confusion

Everyone is wrapped up in their delusions

Faking for gram

While I’m smacking on some graham crackers

Just trying to stack my money

And pay off my tuition bill

So I can some degrees

And be lit

Cause the fire inside me is simmering and waiting to be out

I got to fight my way to stability and a high pay-grade

So when I’m 65 and gray

I can share all my stories to youth

And they be like “no way”.

Inner Thoughts 5/9/18

I’m not a quiet person

I’ve been talking since birth

Fighting and screaming for attention

Which in turn gives it to me

But either people don’t comprehend what I’m saying or they don’t value it

Sometimes I have random thoughts of being silent

Mute

I’m tired of using my voice and people not valuing it.

They won’t hear my overly opinionated, congested voice

Just read my words and feel it

Or don’t

Tired of talking to an echo

When I should be talking to stadiums full of people

Cycle

An internal battle is inside of me

Which is causing insanity

Am I enough?

Can I do more?

Sometimes I feel accomplished and good about myself then boom a wave of uncertainty hits

Whispers about my hair, clothes and skills

Distracting me from being my true self

The wave knocks me over

And I’m face down swallowing water but I’m not drowning yet.

I manage to remind myself who I am

The battles that I fought and survived through

I stand up and take a breath

I will go through this cycle every week

Shelter

Bars on the window

Trying to get comfortable on twin beds

The heat from the radiator at my head

Signing in&out, just to get air

Cause the oxygen in here is dry

I’m ashy and my soul is slow dying

Speaking of dying, the food be in a stage 1 of the afterlife

So we are eating like zombie food and might be on a episode of the walking dead

People are already walking around dazed & confused

Pissed off at the world cause it’s expensive

No apartments for us yet but we on the waiting list

The list that has more pages than all of the Bible’s in the world

We just need our own land

Men In my Life Past&Present

Father was a dead beat that only like getting his meat wet and impregnating every other woman.

Got a cousin that lust after young girls even the ones in family. Everyone knows but not his Momma

Had a big brother that was my best friend and enemy wrapped into one.

Had a man in my life that just wasn’t “the one”

Had a Evil uncle that likes to lurk and act like stranger so I always felt like I was in danger

Had a guy friend that doesn’t how to love and I refuse to give him a manual.

When “good hair” makes people mad

Dedicated: To all the bald heifers that want my hair.

I’m a African American woman with “good hair”. Thick, wavy and sometimes long.

Because of that I have faced criticism and hard judgment from my Black peers.

I wear my hair in a wild ponytail majority of the time and when I want to change up, I wear a wig.

And oh boy I faced so much outrage for this. Such comments like:

Why don’t you do your hair?

Why is your hair like this?

You want me to comb your hair?

Your hair looks a mess

If I had hair like yours, I would comb it and style it everyday.

It’s been ridiculous and annoying, that’s why I’m writing about it.

I don’t understand why people

Black women are so damn judgmental.

Why are they so absorbed in how my hair looks?

Is my hair offensive ?

Am I making the black community look bad by wearing my hair the way I want to?

It amazes me how many people in my lifetime has been so bothered by my hair. I think it’s been like 25 people.

I know why it’s bothers the women

But it’s not my fault cancer took your hair (and maybe your sense)

It’s not my fault you don’t have edges or no hair at all because of a perm job gone bad.

I’m sorry your hair is thinner than paper

And men( Yes men have criticized my hair too) your opinion on how my hair should look so I can date you is none valid.

My hair is MY PROPERTY

Don’t come for it

Don’t touch it

Keep your comments to yourself

And invest in a good lace front wig